woensdag 13 februari 2013

Depressed again (contains rage)

I had a really bad day today and yesterday. And my mood keeps getting worse, I kind of lost all my hope on happiness currently. It seems like everyone is against me, especially all adults and they keep scolding and punishing me for things that aren't even my fault. I mean come on how fair is it to expect me to go to school every day when I have the worst stomachache or can't even think straightly because of migraine. They threatened me I should go every single day to school from now on or the consequences would be big. Yes of course everyone goes to school even when they have the highest fever possible. It is like saying that people who have depression and agoraphobia can't get real sick or something. Like really, would it affect their lives a bit when I don't go to school anymore? I bet it won't.
I am even more scared and depressed now while it actually got a bit better. Well at least I was working again and I did my best. Now I'm depressed to the point I can't even find the motivation and energy to grab my books and school supplies. I just sat behind my desk listening to K-Pop all day. I informed my teacher like 7 times that I was kind of stuck with all the tasks I had to do, but she just encouraged me to go on, not that that was of any help in the end.

I am really sick and tired of people, nobody wants to understand me but I should do my uttermost best to try and understand them. And while everyone is rude to me, I apparently have to be polite since they are my elders. Society sucks and I don't ever wanna come out of this room again.

But well I got somewhat happier when a new friend tried to help me reconcile with my teacher after I yelled how much I hated people and didn't wanna talk to anyone for the rest of my life again. And then a friend I call my little sister gave me the most adorable present ever, she made a ring from electricity threads. One for herself and one for me. But apperently she thinks of me as a really skinny person and the ring was too small to fit on my ring finger so I wear it on my pink instead :p

And this is my 'still to read' staple.
But unfortunately my twinsister comes home and will probably abduct some of these books :(
Couldn't read some of those with black covers, the others are mine.
But well when I go shopping next time I will ask for a book swap if she's alright with it, and hope I can read these books one day :p


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