woensdag 26 maart 2014

Poetry & Milk Tea

Hey everyoneee~!!!
Yesterday I stayed at home and was less productive than I planned to but well it was relaxing. I failed again to learn my chinese again, I really have to make more progress.

Today was again one of those days where I am just done with everything in the world and I really don't want to wake up and face all my duties as a living being XD I went to school for less than an hour again it was so short. Because my seat was taken already by some stupid gamer my teacher gestured to sit beside her. And she was acting crazy like always. Just jamming along to her music (which she could do since the whole class was slacking off because that is a Wednesday thing in our class apparently) and we watched some trailers of movies she liked and tried to recommend me even though i am definitely not a movie person, and certainly not american or dutch movies. But she totally made my day.

Today I made Milk tea for the first time with some kind of authentic recipe I found on youtube just using coffee creamer and cane sugar. But the thing with ice failed so freaking much. I left a bottle of water in the freezer. I planned to stir it you know so it became separate pieces of ice but I was too lazy. So afterwards I tried to cut it up but nope it didn't work the way I wanted to. So I just had hot milk tea instead and I don't see why it wouldn't be any good that way. My stomach also loves it after meals XD I read a lot of poetry and have so much inspiration to create my own (just because of my feelings today I don't get inspired by people's poems) So I will still have to write that off my mind. There are actually people who read all my work and told me I was good it made me feel so niceee. Since I wasn't even trying or anything. Poetry kind of became my medicine just like painting.

But it's time for my dramas and actually for bed but my bed can wait since I'm already keeping it half company (meaning I lie in bed but not sleeping yet :o and not planning to) And still gonna eat my delicious pudding.


maandag 10 maart 2014

Sunny Days

Yesterday I had a lot of fun in Amsterdam. My breakfast was going smooth(l)y since I have my blender now and with a single drink I already 'ate' a whole banana, kiwi and strawberry. I just wandered around the city for a pretty long time since I still plan on buying new heels again. Sadly enough my heart broke in a thousand pieces upon seeing the bookstore in ruins. I think their business is now finally over *sobs* Their books had a huge discount but sadly enough they were all shabby.

So I went to the zoo. Or well at least I tried. There was a fire that blocked the tram so we were stuck in there for half an hour. The driver said we could ride another so we left and went to that tram. But then he just rode away. When he saw us mad he still asked for understanding because he was also delayed. On top of that the tram we were originally in started to drive away too. We were so mad because of this miscommunication. Also since I don't live in Amsterdam and i'm a total leek when it comes to public transport I really didn't know what to do and was so incredibly lost. The moment I wanted to give up this lady from my tram approached me and asked for my destination so I answered. Turned out she had the exact same stop as me!! And she was a local, living in front of the zoo. So she led me the way to the tram we had to take and where we had to switch trams. Apparently she heared my 'dialect' and noticed I was from the north. I was so thankful for this random act of kindness.

I really enjoyed my time at the zoo too. The sun was shining so bright and I didn't really feel the need to walk around. So basically I just sat down on a few different places and enjoyed the sun and lovely weather. In the gardens some children were playing so happily it was so great to see them. Later it turned out most of them didn't even knew each other it was so heartwarming. I love the innocence and trust little children have, I miss it in a lot of adults nowadays. I still walked around for a bit when the sun started to set. I saw the most lovely korean family, one of their two children looked like baby IU and she was so adorable!! It is almost scaring me I could follow their conversations without even missing a single word.

Today was another day of school, it was 'warm' again. As in, it was 15 degrees but I get hot very easily so I still refused to wear any panty or legging and wore a knee-length skirt. I wasn't even cold except with biking back home. I didn't even feel great but I just kept smiling because I don't wanna give of any negative vibes again even though they already consider me an 'ice-queen' I still try to act kind with people who deserve it (since most just don't at this moment) I still have to go to bed on time (someday not today XD) but I keep on trying~


zaterdag 8 maart 2014



Today I had a lovely day, or well I at least tried to. I slept till late again, since it's apparently my daily routine. I've been planning on changing my sleeping habits so I can get up earlier but I fail miserably. I wanted to go to the art museum in Amsterdam and adore Van Gogh's paintings again. But I figured if there was a queue I would have had to rush and it wouldn't be relaxing anymore. It wouldn't even be a super good idea I reconsidered later since I'm already suffering from so many emotions and those paintings just damn...

But now I'm debt-free I can spend my money on useless good things again like shoes and books. I already wanted to visit the market again. So I just did. I started my morning with visiting Primark again. I saw such a lovely Peter Pan shirt but it wasn't in my size and I was so mad. I need this in my life :c so I will be checking next week if they restored it. Also I have a serious problem with my shoe addiction since I still think I need more heels. But they didnt have anything nice. I tried a pair on but the color wasn't really wow and they were 18€ so didn't buy them.

I found out I took the wrong train and it didn't arrive at the stop I wanted to go. So I decided since I'm already at Amsterdam central why not just get some frozen yogurt again. The guy who is working a lot on weekend smiled so cute at me and uugh he was just so cute just like he recognized me or something (I always order the exact same thing every weekend)

When I was on the train again to go to the correct stop again, a lady asked me if it was alright if she sat beside me. And when I left she thanked me, even though I think it is common knowledge not to block the chairs beside you (unlike all the other dutch people who don't understand this principle) and she also said great weekend and such. It made me soo happy. I had a great time shopping in this very cheap neighborhood and the market. I bought a maxi dress for 11€ and it wasn't even crappy quality like you would expect. And it has such a nice summery/spring feeling and it's so cute and perfect for mori-gyaru or mori kei i'm not sure. But I thought it suits me and I felt so great in it so I had to buy it.

With the fruits I bought on the market I made my first smoothie using my new blender today. I was inspired by the watermelon perfection tea on the yoyo menu even though I never had it. So I blended cooled green tea with a lot of watermelon and 2 strawberries and a tiny bit of sugar. At first it didn't had much taste so I was a bit disappointed in my blending skills XD but figuring it's like 50% water at least how much taste would you expect? But when I froze it a little bit the taste became so much better and I'm definitely going to make this so freaking much because it's like the best drink i've ever had and it's healthy and self-made. *spazzing*


donderdag 6 maart 2014

Resolutions or something?

Today wasn't a very good day either. Actually today was way worse. I woke up pretty late after sleeping very weird with waking up a few times before I set my alarm and then I still slept longer than I planned to. I took part in PE class and it was actually very boring. We were playing baseball but I stood on purpose on a spot the ball would never even reach since I didn't wanna run or anything and it's not like I had the energy for it anyways. So I mostly just stood in the field joking a bit with my classmates even tho there were like 4 of us. I was actually so happy it was over even though I mostly enjoy the PE class on thursday's.

But something good happened my classmate said in PE class he would bring me chocolate and there is not even a ('good') reason behind it or anything. And it's very sweet since he is considered very 'antisocial' XD

What I'm going to do in order to be happier:
* Write more (daily)
* Not only/necessarily blogs but also trying poetry
* Read more stories/poems
* Get distracted
* Eat and live healthier
* Drink more tea
* Sleep better
* Paint maybe?
* Dress how I want
* Only care about those who matter
* Ignore hate
* Keep my room from being messy
* Take better care of myself


woensdag 5 maart 2014

So Productive aka Spring Cleaning


Yesterday was such a horror. I was busy the whole day, I did such a lot. I came home from school earlier than Monday and immediately started to clean (read: started forcing myself to clean) since it actually takes such a long time to get things done and make the first few moves. But I put H.O.T. on my speakers and finally begun. After a while I still had to quit for a little bit since I still had to buy a few things and I went shopping. It was also for my fun and to relax. Looking back now I realize I forgot two things I shoud've done :c but just another excuse to go again. I was looking around in H&M while I actually had to buy a pencil skirt to match my oversized band shirts with I searched for some kind of legging/pants that is comfy but still wearable under a larger shirt that still doesn't cover the butt entirely. Leggings are just too showy and i'm not comfortable with the way my butt looks in them. And I hate hate HATE pants. Like how can someone be able to wear them without going insane??? It's just a pity since lately i've been seeing a lot of nice pants which looked really cute. Nowadays i'm interested in those acid wash jeans. I tried on a legging but it didn't really look good combined with the shirt. But still have to go back for the pencil skirt XD

I also visited the library but it was just a shame they don't have as much good books as I expected to, so I probably won't subscribe there since my money is probably better spend just buying those few books I was still curious about. Also just quickly looked in the shoe shop even though I just went this Sunday. It's like my shoe addiction is coming up again. With pretty shoes on my feet I really feel more confident and all how stupid it may sound. 'Good shoes take you to good places' after all, can't repeat that enough.

After my shopping adventures I started cleaning again and I got such a lot done. It was such a bummer that my landlord send me a nagging text about how dirty my room was last time he visited. Even though I was like 'dude not your **** business since I pay rent, it belongs to me and I can do what I want' it still did kind of upset me. So even after I already decided to rest I still got into cleaning again because I was freaking insecure of it being clean enough and he said he would check if I had cleaned better this time. So when I got to bed it was like 2 AM? I was so freaking exhausted this morning.

Today wasn't really good since I practically watched drama's all day and didn't eat a lot (some brownie pudding and smoothie for breakfast, lettuce for lunch and shoarma for dinner) It's been such a long time since i've eaten meat. I also read some of Edgar Allen's poems and I totally liked them. Too bad my head isn't working that well and I ended up doing some research on some of them since I hesitated I understood it correctly. But I think the beautiful thing of poetry is that everyone can have it's own interpretation and there is not necessarily a definite meaning. I read the raven for instance and it's so meaningful and it expresses the emotions i'm dealing with atm exactly.


maandag 3 maart 2014

Plans Cancelled


School wasn't really amazing or anything. Just like always I was just fooling around waiting for it to be over. After school I wanted to do a lot of things to relax. But because I was way later on school than I planned to I also stayed longer. So when I was out it was already to late to do half of the things I planned to so i'm gonna do them tomorrow instead. I did some grocery shopping though. It was so hilarious, I was wearing my super huge heels and an older lady called me over to help her pick some peanuts from the upper shelf. I could barely grab it but it felt like such an accomplishment since i'm the one who is actually super short and always has to depend on others height. Such small things as this can even make me so happy ^^

When I got home I got more and more exhausted so I showered and was just relaxing in my bed (extra point for my ubercomfy mayday shirt which I was actually already wearing) Then I finally gave in to my exhaustion and lied down for a bit. Then I fell asleep much longer then I wanted to and woke up very late and nauseous. And I didn't even have a proper meal :c so just now I forced myself anyways to make some food. Since I would probably not be able to eat much I made some ramyun and used the veggies which would expire today to make a healthy lunch box for tomorrow. So once again i'm going to act boss with my rice and chopsticks at school and get weird reactions probably just like the previous time. I barely eat bread so I always eat unusual stuff at school mostly surprising most of my classmates. Walking on my new heels made me entirely happy though, even though it hurted a bit in the end but I'm not accustomed to wearing heels anymore so I hope it's because of that XD


zondag 2 maart 2014

A Completely New Person

Hey everyone~
You still remember me? Haha ^^

I went to a Mayday concert and it was so inspirational that when I came back it just felt like a was reborn. My whole mentality changed. And this is rather an understatement then exaggeration. I will write about that when i'm less tired I think because everyone really has to know about these amazing people.

Today I visited a friend. This is the first time I've been in the north of the Netherlands. We shopped such a lot and ate so much good food. I bought some super cheap shoes and a dress which was first 40 and now 5€ so that would be like 88% discount just too many to leave it there XD And I've been eyeing that dress since it was in the collection a while ago. My friend convinced me I absolutely had to take the shoes and I figured I deserved them even though I don't have loads of money and they were only 10€ Good shoes take you to good places right? Ill upload photos tomorrow. It was such a nice city and my friend was also soo cute. I had such a great time and my worries disappeared for a while.  (I stole her photos)

Ice cream = the best medicine for everything especially break ups <3

her sushi, 
I took some rice dish with chicken since I didn't eat meat in ages

her onion rings and my iced smoothie

Tomorrow I have school again, which I was kinda excited for since my teacher is like my fake mom and I love her a lot. She is always caring for me and giving me lots of love too after being abandoned by my parents. I probably wont be there for too long since im totally stressed and can leave whenever I had enough (one of the few good things of my school) but i'll survive ^^