woensdag 27 februari 2013

K-Food Party

Don't really feel like blogging and all so here are some pictures and hopefully it's enough

dinsdag 26 februari 2013

Real Life Drama

Hey guys~
Today I feel depressed again. There was a huge conflict at school again and then I found out one of my friends really deceived me. I just have too many thoughts right now but still want to force myself to write and stuff and see if it will help me. I really wanna go shop for new books and clothes it always makes me feel a lot better but still have to wait a month or so on my moneyz.

While I'm writing this I was talking to a friend of mine (who I can hopefully trust) and she says she and other people will take care of the matter between me and that ******. She even asked me if we could hang out together sometime. I'm thinking about making kimbap again tomorrow since my friends like it so much. I also wanna try and make Ju Mok Bap (Rice Balls) Japchae (Noodles) and Gye Ran Mal E (Egg Roll). But don't know how much appetite I will have tomorrow since I don't wanna eat anything when I'm all stressed out and such.

For the 100000th time plz don't pay attention to the mess and such XD
Feels like if this tee had a print or a scarf it would've been better balanced :/
But I thought it looked pretty cool when I just tried combining these colors.
This is my new cardigan btw, the one I bought recently.


maandag 25 februari 2013


Today I didn't feel well again. I don't really know why it suddenly was that way. Maybe it was from eating too much (which my tummy can't handle too well) or stress idk. My friend even made some tea and was apparently very worried. Water cooker in class ftw :p I already drank some tea again but it doesn't seem to help much. My teacher still let me relax since it was the day after vacation on which I am always so stressed out. But really don't wanna start working on all those stupid tasks tomorrow.

I wore my new shirt with my new hairclips :p
When I looked in the mirror this looked pretty okay and my friend even said my shoes looked nice with my shirt. Even though when I see it now I promise to NEVER wear a bright pink with coral again.
It looks totally horrible imo :c
*and the brown on brown on brown (XD) doesn't look too good either
*fashion fail*
Promise to dress better tomorrow :p

zondag 24 februari 2013

Last Day Of Vacation

I did absolutely nothing really important to mention that's why I was gone for this week. I watched a lot of drama's like always. Surfed a lot on the net and just filled my time with useless stuff. Thursday some friend of me came over. I had a great time and apparently my mother and sister liked him a lot too, resulting in very awkward talks about him being my boyfriend and such.
Today was my sister's birthday and some family came over. Normally I don't get along with my family but it was pretty okay now. I didn't feel too good though, but I haven't been feeling well this entire vacation. I had the worst cold ever and I was terribly sick. I took a lot of vitamins and did many things to get over it and thought it was completely cured already.

I am very happy with the airing of Iris 2 now. I totally love the cast and it makes me slightly more excited to go to Hungary, Budapest with school. It has all this cool scenery and it shows the city very well. It has all these nice buildings, and I am so in love with all those bridges. And now I know a bit more about the city it also becomes more intresting. I even learned some Hungarian online and from the drama so it wouldn't be much problem if I got lost I guess XD It's always fun to learn new languages to me.

Currently I am still stuck with the important question whether I should stick with my old-fashioned and quirky Mori-Kei or go more to the Mori-Gyaru side since I have all this pink in my closet. But I think I will just variate every day and fill my closet with some more Mori-Kei pieces since it suits me more than Gyaru.


vrijdag 15 februari 2013

Massive Dramathon Cancelled :c

Hey guys ^^
Today I am feeling really happy for no reason in particular. Had a very weird day, such a lot of things happened and the were all very very positive or either very very negative. It were only massive ups and downs I guess. I had a lot of annoyance towards my teacher lately and now I walked out of the classroom for the third time in three days >__< I just can't stand her anymore but I have vacation now so I hope everything will turn out alright after this week. Then I had another conflict with a girl that apparently liked to throw a pen at me to see how I would react cuz that was her kind of humor. Later on we talked it out with our teachers and she said that then. It was weird and a bit comical. She said: 'Well I just have a weird sense of humor and I'll promise to don't throw pens at you in the future' and I reacted with 'I would really appreciate that' and now we're cool again. But it was just a bit a wrong timing i guess...

With PE exercises our homeroom teacher (the one that annoyed me so much) led the lesson because our usual teacher had to go somewhere. First she explained it like it was some kind of social skills excercises. But turned out we could just have some actual bitch fights XD Turned out I was one of the strongest except for this one guy who isn't my classmate but only takes part in our PE class and has amazing fighting skills and knowledge. I feel much safer now. Only a huge pity the guys didn't wanna admit they lost against me. Then it's like 'Well yeah lemme try again, I wasn't prepared enough.' and 'I didn't try my best next time I'll surely win.' Don't they realise that it won't be believable anymore when they try 4 times and still lose... Well don't wanna defect the manly pride too much and let them believe in their own fantasy.

Yesterday my doctor apparently called and I had to visit her since she was really worried. This is kind of unusual since patients call their doctor if they can come over and such not the other way around D: But she will see if she can do something about my current situation with moving out and school, and then I'll hear from her again.

After that since my mother and sister went to the doctor too, my sister also had a appointment for some ache in her stomache or ribs, we went to the mall to do some shopping yaay. I bought two new t-shirts, one with some flamigo's it's a bit tacky, weird and unusual but sooo awesome, and a lace one. I also bought a new cardigan and don't like the kind of buttons since they are kind of plastic-y and ugly. They were all on sale and only spend 15€ which wasn't that much. And all these items were pink, a color which my closet is already overflowing with but alright I needed some new clothes. I will spend the rest of my shopping money on other colors then XD

And I asked my mother if I could have a bribe for at least passing one of my finals since I have a bit of confidence in English, but not much in History and Dutch. She said I could have he SHINee shirt I've been desiring for such a long time now XD

This was a bit of an unusual color combination but it made me happy and I thought it was cute. The top is only a 'bit' to big since it's an XL but was only 3€ and soo cute. I love this shade of yellow. It fits kind of nice but the top part keeps falling weird. 

And I was actually planning on doing a massive dramathon of a few days straight but I'll just be going to bed since i'm sooo tired. I actually slept well last night since I was going to bed so early XD


donderdag 14 februari 2013

Happy V'Day I guess?

Hey there~
I was forever alone today too *cries* Hope you all had a good day cuz I definitely didn't. It seemed like all my classmates were kind of depressed too, even three were crying before the first break. It was a horrible day and just like yesterday I ran out of the class again. Didn't got any major trouble for that luckily. I guess everyone is just in huge need for vacation, which we have tomorrow.  I will just sit in my room for a whole week to watch dramas and blog a bit. I am really a no-lifer and I know it.

I am going to get some ice-cream in a minute. I was very depressed, even got rejected once I guess... A friend of mine said he still had some chocolate in his bag and since he got stood up six times (yes a bit hopeless if you ask me but he's a good person) and didn't know what to do with it. So I said: well... you can give it to me? But he didn't like that idea apparently *cries again*  I wanted some chocolate so badly today. But well have to drown my sorrow with ice-cream then.

My simple outfit D:
Made the skirt myself ^^

But well I was very happy when I came home. My twinsister paid a visit and left 2 books for me. I thoight she would abduct all the books I wanted to read, but luckily she didn't. She left 'Beastly' a fantasy book that's a bit like Beauty and the Beast. There is a movie made from and now I realise I never even saw it *shame on me* And a literature book called 'Incredibly Loud and Extremely Close' I always wanted to read it and then it also got discussed in Iris and then I wanted to read it even more. *shame on me for being such a drama-addict* And speaking of which I already saw the raw versions of the first two episodes were uploaded. Sooo excited since I'll be going to Budapest too.


woensdag 13 februari 2013

Depressed again (contains rage)

I had a really bad day today and yesterday. And my mood keeps getting worse, I kind of lost all my hope on happiness currently. It seems like everyone is against me, especially all adults and they keep scolding and punishing me for things that aren't even my fault. I mean come on how fair is it to expect me to go to school every day when I have the worst stomachache or can't even think straightly because of migraine. They threatened me I should go every single day to school from now on or the consequences would be big. Yes of course everyone goes to school even when they have the highest fever possible. It is like saying that people who have depression and agoraphobia can't get real sick or something. Like really, would it affect their lives a bit when I don't go to school anymore? I bet it won't.
I am even more scared and depressed now while it actually got a bit better. Well at least I was working again and I did my best. Now I'm depressed to the point I can't even find the motivation and energy to grab my books and school supplies. I just sat behind my desk listening to K-Pop all day. I informed my teacher like 7 times that I was kind of stuck with all the tasks I had to do, but she just encouraged me to go on, not that that was of any help in the end.

I am really sick and tired of people, nobody wants to understand me but I should do my uttermost best to try and understand them. And while everyone is rude to me, I apparently have to be polite since they are my elders. Society sucks and I don't ever wanna come out of this room again.

But well I got somewhat happier when a new friend tried to help me reconcile with my teacher after I yelled how much I hated people and didn't wanna talk to anyone for the rest of my life again. And then a friend I call my little sister gave me the most adorable present ever, she made a ring from electricity threads. One for herself and one for me. But apperently she thinks of me as a really skinny person and the ring was too small to fit on my ring finger so I wear it on my pink instead :p

And this is my 'still to read' staple.
But unfortunately my twinsister comes home and will probably abduct some of these books :(
Couldn't read some of those with black covers, the others are mine.
But well when I go shopping next time I will ask for a book swap if she's alright with it, and hope I can read these books one day :p


maandag 11 februari 2013

Bad Day

Today was another bad day. There were a lot of disappointing moments. Now I feel completely tired and I had very heavy migraine again. It went away with showering for a really long time but I still feel bad. I only worked on History and didn't do anything much the whole day, which made me feel really bad and useless. I even tried to take part in PE but it didn't go that well. I even ate like 2 slices of bread and still felt dizzy and felt like I could faint every moment. A bit vague, since mostly it's enough food to function well in my case.

I am currently reading in Peter Pan and I really like the story, it's just like Alice In Wonderland, it had a fantasy feel to it but is still considered as old English literature. I don't have anything much to say today, sorry >__< my mind is really full of all negative things etc. The only good thing about today was probably that I accidently left my electrical blanket on so it was really hot when I got in bed after school.


zondag 10 februari 2013

Making Kimbap

Took a short break from blogging was soo stressed out. Thursday I received some letters with a bit bad, disappointing and stressful news. They promised me I can move out of home in roughly three months, but I don't believe it's gonna work out alright since all those people who tried to help me with that disappointing me in the end. And because I took sick leave too often I have to see some person which I don't know and have a conversation with him about why I ditch school so much. So these things kind of drive me crazy.

Yesterday was a relaxed day, I really needed one of those. I woke up early, even before nine. Since my family members were still sleeping I couldn't shower yet, so I got back to bed with a nice cup of green tea and watching drama's. I have been a bit sick for the last few days. My throat hurts a lot and my nose is runny so it must be a cold. I mostly watched dramas all day and tried to finish a dress I'm making, I didn't finish yet but made a skirt with the same fabric.

Today I slept somewhat longer and watched dramas again (surprisingly). And I even made Kimbap. Only the seaweed smell was so awful I didn't even taste it yet. But I will feed it to my Sushi-loving friend tomorrow and see what she has to say about it before getting food-poisoning myself. I really want to try and make more Korean dishes. I think about trying those egg roll thingies tomorrow since there are so much carrots left.

I still had to slice the parts but that went a little bit wrong so I waited with that.
sorry for the lack of updates everyone <3


woensdag 6 februari 2013

Book Hunting~

Hey there ^^
Today was a pretty fun day. When I finished my assigments I could read the required literature for my finals. So I've been reading Macbath for a few hours, it takes a while to catch up to the way of older writing and my classmates were all very loud. They just couldn't stop talking, every time I need silence they can't shut their mouths apparently.

After school I went shopping on my own. This was the first time I've been shopping in another town than were I live. Since I'm agoraphobic I always feel sick or dizzy and shaky when I'm outside or inside crowded buildings. I had a fun time shopping, I wanted to check if I still could get some clothes. But apparently the current designs in every single store I visited, I mostly go to H&M, didn't have anything suited for Mori Kei or Mori Gyaru *sad* Haven't seen some decent pieces for such a long time so maybe I have to go to a big market or something like that again. Then I visited a mall to go to the book department but they didn't really have English books except for The Hunger Games which I read already. Then I visited a bookstore I already visited before. But apparently they still had a 2nd floor which sold second-hand books. The weird part about this was that the second floor was even bigger than the first one XD It was like a paradise, there were so many books. I honestly admit I was dumbfounded by the quantity and beauty. There were a lot of books that were like a few hundred years old, or so they seemed. Bad thing was that there were stains and such, but they were expensive and Dutch anyways so I wouldn't have bought them either way. There was a large section of Dutch romance and thrillers, but also a pretty large offer of English books. There were a lot of different genres like history, geology, art etc. I really should take my twinsister to this heavenly place, I bet she never knew there was a second floor either. I bought 5 books for 27€ I thought it was pretty cheap. They are all in a very good state and you wouldn't even say they've been read before. I only bought literature though. The prices were all around 3.50€ - 10€ And since the drama (yes I'm an addict) 'Don Quixote' I was curious about the story. I was so happy when I found it. It was the first book my eye fell on since it was at the A-section obviously. And I realized my birthday is in about six weeks, which means still a few weeks till I can read my new books, a collection of Jane Austin and the Sherlock Holmes novels. I was tempted to buy a few more books, but I figured I shouldn't spend all my money in one go. So I just picked all the literature (well I left some, there weren't very much) books.

Anne Brontë - Agnes Grey
Anne Brontë - The Tenant of Wildfell Hall
J.M Barrie - Peter Pan
Thomas Hardy - Tess of the D'Urbervilles
Eric Allen - Don Quixote

Weird photo of me and my dress XD


dinsdag 5 februari 2013

Excited For Tomorrow

Hey there~
I'm suddenly very tired so I'll keep this a short post. First I had a lot of stress on school, haven't slept and eaten well for the last few days. I'm completely exhausted but gonna drink a milkshake when I have the energy to get up. I almost overslept and was a bit late. My bed felt so warm and good but my pillow somehow feels weird like one of my family members changed it while I was gone. I could read a few books again today since I was stressing out again. And tomorrow me and my teacher will make an attempt on making a summary of history about the cold war. Already excited~ not...

But since I can get home early I am planning to do some shopping. I still want some new clothes, just one piece or so. And a lot of books so I'll be visiting 2 shops which sell books and look if they have some good deals. One of them sells second-hand books so I'm curious. These days I'm very cold again so I'll just add a few more layers and hope I won't be shivering the entire day tomorrow.


maandag 4 februari 2013

Back Again

Hey there~
I was planning to go to my friend's house since he said I could spend a night there since I have trouble at home and such. But I actually planned to leave Saturday since he had some activities on Friday which I honestly didn't really wanted to attend with him. But he felt pitiful apparently because my headache was really bad and I was so moody. He was completely worried and asked a mutual friend of us if he wanted to spend a few hours with me so I didn't have to be alone and I could just go there straight after school. So I kind of left unprepared, just packed my clothes really quickly took a shower and all and left. I first had a bit of travel stress since in Holland we use these cards and I never knew if it would work out well since I never got checked while using it. But everything turned out alright and I didn't get a fine ^^

This other friend picked me up from the station after I rode the train for 1.5 hours and we just got to his house. It felt really great coming there since his girlfriend and sister were home too, and I already knew them from cosplay things, and they were apparently very happy to see me. Yaay for a lot of hugs ^^ And after eleven he brought me to the friend I ought to stay with. We didn't even do much productive but I didn't have stomach aches or migraine for a whole weekend and it felt really nice. I like his parents a lot more than mine even though I don't know them very well. They are kind and when you say something they just hear and listen to you. Unlike my mother, which is very annoying.

Today I was very tired at school apparently. I felt happy but it was quickly being tested when we suddenly got new seats and such. I sit beside someone I'm really uncomfortable around. I also had a lot of problems with making a history essay, I just didn't have concentration or motivation. But I could read a lot of books which I needed to read for my finals. And with PE me and my classmate learned a bit of boxing from a guy who got lessons and he takes PE with us since we don't have much people in our class. It was nice except for the parts I couldn't really control my body because it got a bit weakened after not sleeping and eating much past few days. I collapsed a few times almost and it was a bit scary. Ate some Chinese food when I got home and feeling a bit better now.

Beware of these pictures since I look really weird here XD

I thought it looked nice ^^
Dress, Sweater and coat are all from H&M
rest of the things come from those unknown stores :p