Better?

Heeey~
I'm still writing a quick blog post while listening to my new love, Camila. I'm still having these ups & downs. Today my teacher offered to help me with an assignment I have a lot of trouble with. And everytime she tries to help me we get into a fight and then everything's bad again. But I told her I rather wanted my other teacher to help me and she apparently didn't really get why the heck that was. I was very annoyed by a lot of people again. On the facebook page of a person that annoys me a lot I saw he went to a party and how much he liked it. And of course he had to talk about it to everyone... Okay nice and stuff that you've been to a great party and have a social life like none of us do apparently~!!! I really have a lot more respect for you and this was totally not sarcastic ;) He just always keeps on talking and talking and talking.... And I even made a few remarks to show him how 'intrested' we all were. But well he didn't even take the clue. All his talk totally sickens me D:
After that it got even worse, they started talking about some party for which I was apparently not invited. And hopefully this 'friend' has a (good) reason for not inviting me since I consider her as my bestie. But I still think it is pretty rude if you have plans with a certain group of friends except for one person and then talk about it with each other when that person can clearly hear everything. So I was pretty mad at them, and I still am. But I consider her as my little kid sister after all, and she participated in our PE class. I actually didn't really wanna face her since I was mad. But after a while I just tried to act normal and all.
And now I really have to stop otherwise I'll be late for bed again :c

I made the skirt yesterday.

The second picture was only for fitting purposes, but it looks so much better in the 2nd

Xx

Ups & Downs

Heeyy~
Friday I got a bit of a breakdown again. Everything went wrong and all. And I get really annoyed at all these people that receive rewards and stuff for negative behavior (in my eyes). I have these classmates who are a bit annoying me. One is a very weird kid, and he never does his homework and stuff. And he always gets another last chance. And it's just so damn annoying, and his behavior  his remarks, just his facial expressions and stuff.... I just can't take it anymore aaarrrgh. I hate it all D: And then there is this other classmate, I thought we were friends, but apparently she doesn't consider me as one. But we both had some agreement with our teacher that we should come to school everyday otherwise there were huge consequences or something. And since I already got very much in trouble for my absence I just followed it, but seems like she can still skip school without getting punished. And we both wanted to take a break this friday and she was a week behind on her tasks and I worked very hard and stuff. But for some reason all the teachers hate me and I can never take a break and she always can do everything she wants apparently. And yes all this stuff pisses me off pretty much.

And my twinsister suddenly got a place on her own, and it is just soooo unfair since I've been waiting for like a year now and there still isn't progress. But I plan on visiting her soon. We planned a relaxed afternoon: first we wil make galaxy leggings (she will buy supplies and stuff), then make dinner (pancakes) and afterwards we will see 'The Host' in the cinema.

I tried to finish some sewing projects yesterday and today. I continued with a dress I've been having trouble with for a long time. And now I seem to have the right measurements and stuff.... but here's the catch: I accidently sewed on the wrong side, so it's mirrored now. And there's some kind of split in it, which is now on the right side and it looks a bit awkward. And I finished a very cute tulle skirt. It looks really awesome. I'm gonna wear it tomorrow and show you the ootd :p

And I still have 2 outfit photos I forgot to upload due to my bad mood :p

Wore some shoes I haven't worn such a long time ^^

They're oxfords with heels, if that makes sense XD

And my other Outfit was inspired by deers obviously.

But the print was a bit overexposed so 2 pics :p

And yesterday I discovered some new band/group. K-Pop fans hopefully know Lena Park and her song 'Mianhae/I'm sorry' (otherwise check that out immediately it's with Cha Seung Won XD) But it is some kind of remake of this mexican band. So I decided to check them out. AND HOLY FUCK THEY ARE AMAZING. I spammed their video on my sister fb too and she loved them. I have a thing for the lead singer actually (and his piercing ofc) Their voices are sooo damn beautiful. And I discoverd I can understand Spanish XD so weird now I know 9 languages. I also like 'De Mi' a lot that MV is soo gorgeous it just can't be real.

Xx

Weird Day

Hello~
Today was a very weird day. There was a lot of trouble going on at school once again. My teacher received a weird mail which cause some kind of uproar. Also I had a talk with her and it seems like I have to drop one of my other subjects with the finals, since it isn't going so well. It's a shame, but maybe it's better this way, just a bit disappointed in myself and all. My teacher was gone for the second/last period and nobody had much concentration left so most of us talked a bit and afterwards we still played a game.

After school I had a lot of free time but was very lazy like always so I hanged around and didn't wanna do anything much. After a while I still made some kimbap for my friend who is turning 17 friday. She totally loves sushi and is vegetarian, like me. Yesterday she cooked some asian food for me too because of my stomach aches. And the grandmother of my mom is turning 100 tomorrow. That will actually mean she is antique XD We don't really plan on throwing a party or something because she can't remember most of the family and doesn't feel that great (obviously).

Xx

Few Days Hiatus XD

Well I has returned again....
My mood wasn't really good (huuuge understatement) and didn't really feel like making outfit pictures or writing and stuff. I found myself really addicted to tea. I have like 5 cups a day. It's also good for my stomach since I have a lot of trouble with digesting my food. And it's so nice and warm, I prefer green tea the most. Feeling so often dizzy because of my lack of food and energy and it's getting really annoying.

I don't have much intresting to say currently since a lot is going on (negative stuff) and if I feel the need to rage or post positive things you will hear from me again :p

also still some craft-photos

A bright pink zipper inspired by Project Runway's Seth Aron ^^

'

I love this skirt ^^

feels so princess-like

And lastly my outfit ^^

just wanted to wear something comfy.

Xx

Having a Failday again

Hey~
Nothing seems to be going right today :c
I am having a hard time at school again, worked my ass of yesterday and finally got stuff done. Finally made an essay for Dutch I pushed aside for a few weeks now. And today I spend most of the time reading and drawing a bit because I got bored and tired of the book I'm reading involuntary. Really don't wanna write another essay bout it, i'm so tired of those huge tasks and tests.

After school it was still early so I wanted to sew, but I lost all my supplies and it got really annoying. Finally I gave up without even finishing a single thing. Oh and I also manage to break the needle of the sewing machine while I was struggling with elastic. So much annoyance.

I'm currently not so fond of my dramas XD I rather watch Dr. Who and Project Runway now. All the drama's got a bit boring currently. Need to find some new ones. I recently finished Mirai Nikki. I found there was an anime too but I think Yuno's voice is so damn annoying and in the drama I really liked her. These voices really keep me from watching anime and I now know why I stopped watching 2 years ago. But it made me realise, if I was ever in this game (when you break the cellphone of another participant it's game over for you and you die) I would die in 5 minutes. I am not so careful with my phone.

I had trouble with my camera and clothes too, and can probably whine about everything that went wrong but I'm going downstairs to score some green tea and watch dr who while drinking it ^^

It was so cold today

Xx

quick outfit update

Painting~

Hey everyone~
I'm being bored again XD And lately my body condition is getting worse, I'm getting continously stomach aches when I try to eat things. Yesterday I had a really hard time surviving school. I had absolutely no concentration and was pretty bored since I couldn't do anything. I'm stuck with my tasks again since my teacher is sick and couldn't help me. So was also in a pretty bad mood. But the last hour was pretty fun, we have this huge paintings that are like a collaboration between various students. And the teacher who was taking care of us is an art teacher and gave us permission to go to the art classroom. He needed some help on these paintings and I really wanted to paint so I offered to do it. We don't have art lessons anymore, which is a pity since I really like our teachers and drawing/painting and such.

My cousin and nephew visited again. It was really fun, they always make me so happy. My cousin is so pretty and cute just look at her~ although I prefer her awake how weird that is ^^ She is one of the only kids that look better awake then asleep. She was very tired, and even got cranky a while before I took this picture. My nephew and her mostly get along pretty well, but when they fight it's just terrible and it annoyed me big time. 

Xx

Had An Amazing Day

Hey there~
I had two days off unexpectedly. My teacher got ill and there weren't any other teacher available today. Yesterday was really amazing. I woke up around nine and wanted to get out to  but fell asleep again XD. A while later I got up and took my time changing, brushing my hair etc. and got ready to leave. Either I arrived to soon at the busstop or the bus was late :p. So I sat there for such a long time.
At 12 I arrived at the fabric market, it was so busy. It was horrible, I'm a huge agoraphobic and was all alone. This place was so crowded I thought I couldn't make it out alive. But after a while it either got less crowded, or I got more accustomed to it. I spend such a lot of time there and there were a lot of fabrics. But only had a budget of €30. I got 5 different kinds of fabric and still got €5 left. I thought that was pretty good. I always end up regretting leaving a certain fabric which was pretty cool aarggh damn budget :c

After that I walked an awful end to the station and shopping mall. First I got some bread at the station to take a rest from all the walking. It's very funny since we have 2 branches of this convenience store in the city. But the one near the shops has much higher prices so I always go to the one at the station to save money ^^ On my way to the mall I made a lot of photo's. I brought some of my lomo camera's with me, which caused my bag to weight a lot more. I had fun shooting and the weather was very beautiful considering it is still winter. And it was hot too, I even had to put off my coat. I lost my sunglasses though, I was very stressed out at first. But well since I was in the shopping mall and need those very badly (since my eyes are so sensitive) I bought new ones and they are so amazing.
I still went to the bookstore and now almost all the literature was already bought by me last time, there weren't many interesting books left. Still managed to score one of Hardy though. And I still want the book of Bram Stoker but it was a bit more expensive.

When I came home I helped my twinsister with an art project for school. She made a necklace and had to make an ad for it. I had a great time with her and she is an amazing photographer. This was the photo she choose and I helped her a bit with her other homework after that.

I got a bit annoyed by all the people acting rude about my outfit though, or it was my imagination, but they didn't seem to appreciate me dressing differently. And I wasn't even dress that weird I mean... Come on, you all know about maxi-skirts, knitted cardigans or flower hair accessories right? But well I was too happy to care about it and from now on I will only wear whatever I like without worrying about the weird looks people will give me. I am feeling less self-conscious now I am feeling happier. I don't know where it came from but suddenly I feel all better and positive. 

It isn't that weird right? :c

Thought it looked pretty cute :p

My new sunglasses. The front has a floral print and the legs are striped.

This is sooo perfect.

The fabric~

Ooooh god love them sooo much ^^

Stay updated for the results.

I am really getting into sewing again.

Xx

Happy But Not Really

Hiiii~
Today was a weird day again. I was all happy once again, just because didn't really have a reason except for all my excitement for Wednesday. I was drawing that comic I still had to do for my essay about Macbeth. I finished it half, I'm soo slow when it comes to finding motivation for school and to actually do stuff. But then the teacher of my friend and my friend herself called me out of the classroom to mention she would be gone for a few weeks. This made me quite depressed since we were getting more close and it feels like she has been helping me the whole time and I couldn't even do anything for her yet. But hopefully I can visit her soon or something or see her at school again.

I installed my drawing tablet too after I lost the cable for a really long time. And I still have to order some train tickets online since I will make another trip through 2 cities. I am planning to go with my mother (although she annoys me to death) since she know the cities better and I don't wanna get lost and all. We are planning on visiting the new Primark first since it's nearby the station and then go to Amsterdam to shop at the market and visit another filial of the bookstore I love for it's secondhand books. It's great since every shop buys it's books from people who are done with them and so every shop has different books.
I also noticed the version from 'Don Quixote' I had was just rewritten. The original is over 1000 pages long. I have like 10% of that and almost finished it.

After school my niece and nephew visited and they were so cute again. My nephew was very curious while I was sewing and asked if my pants were already finished. I also took a walk with them and my dog. I also shot some pictures with my Lomo cameras and it was fun.

Today's outfit :p

I made the skirt myself, and below some other of my creations XD

The flamingo shirt isn't made by me, but the pants and other shirt is :p

The pants are a bit skinny and I rarely wear pants but they are really asum.

Xx

Bad Again

Hello~
Since some horrible thing that happened this Thursday I fell back on my old bad behaviour like depression, agoraphobia, eating disorder, not wanting to go to school etc. and on top of that the pain of my whiplash came back. I finally got some work done again after doing nothing for a week because I had trouble with my assignments and the teachers didn't wanna help me for some reason. But now the problems are solved and I can go on with my schedule again. I made an essay about Macbeth and I still have to draw a short comic, because our schooling system is amazing like that XD

This Wednesday I have a day off but there's a huge fabric market. It's a bit of a pity it is planned this way since my school and the market are in the same town so I still have to go to the big city on my day off after all. But well now I can take my time and take nice walks from the station to the market place. After that I am planning to visit the bookshop again, which isn't very close to the market. So that will be a whole lot of walking but I start to enjoy taking alone walks more and more. Being alone in crowded places is somewhat terrifying for me because of my phobia. But I'm trying to get over it by just doing things I like alone and start that way. Lately everyone is starting to annoy me more and more so I'm also more comfortable by myself. I am totally loving tea and books these days. Can't wait to score some other great literary masterpieces ^^

My friend kind of ordered me I should do creative things to get over my depression and such. She advised writing and drawing but I'm pretty sure fashion design would be good too right? Calculating the measurements and such got my mind of the things for a while. I wouldn't necessarily say it made me feel a whole lot better or something but it was nice to do something else beside watching drama's. Soooo excited for wednesday ^^ I sew a pants which turned out really nice. And I'll try my best to make pictures of my other creations too asap.

Still didn't upload my outfit from Friday so here it is since I wore my Pj's all day ^^

I actually like the print although it's a bit weird and such :p

Xx